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You’ll never find me in the bright summer sun
On beaches laden with people all having fun
My songs are all heartbreak crashing inside
The waters of torment where I chose to reside

My language of choice is silence you know
Words are not needed in the places I go
Traveling the dark hidden places of earth
Places I’ve wandered since the day of my birth

The fog of the morning I search on the way
Where sounds of the living are all kept at bay
I walk in grounded clouds as soft as a sigh
The closest I’ll ever come to being able to fly
I am pleased to find a kindred soul:  Please see fav.me/d9usxv8
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Edited Mar 10, 2016
After perceiving this, I was hoping more would follow! This piece is one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of perceiving on deviantart! (I hope you aren't done, this has the potential to send poe back to school!)
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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You are too kind :)

Please see fav.me/d9usxv8

Hope you enjoy
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016
it lost the presence and feel to it with the new stanzas...I was hoping for the same quality
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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps because of the joint slant, although i really consider the second one a "different" poem.  Thanks for your comments ~ always welcome critiques.  :)
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016
Both stanzas feel different and apart from the original. I was hoping for a serious continuation of the entire sentiment and dark atmosphere of the first. These extra two stanzas just seem like teen angst. Sorry if your feelings are harmed in anyway, that is not my intent, I'm just being honest.
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:icondarkriderdlmc:
DarkRiderDLMC Featured By Owner May 8, 2016
My apologies for responding, but I'm an unkind soul  You may well be right about the quality, as I am no poet and reality is often gritty.

But it's not teen angst :D I've danced in places you'd run from and probably done the things you write about.  After all, those who don't do, teach.
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner May 9, 2016
You have no idea what my world entails, and apparently you live in candy-land compared to my reality.
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:icondarkriderdlmc:
DarkRiderDLMC Featured By Owner Edited May 9, 2016
Well, yeah, you fight computers.  Your reality is quite different than mine.  Did you give that poor computer a left, left, right or just sneak up behind it with a hammer?  Sorry if your feelings are harmed in any way, that is not my intent, I'm just being honest. :rofl:
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(1 Reply)
:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes I agree that they feel different, that's why I consider it basically a "different poem" - it has taken a different direction.  I may continue this one in the vein it was written as well later :)   No my feelings weren't harmed at all!  That's what comments are for - differing ideas, opinions, advice, and feelings!  I appreciate it when people take the time to offer their thoughts :) Thanks again Hug 
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Edited Mar 12, 2016
You are welcome, though I think you should take the time to consider the new direction you seem so quick to embrace. This piece has the potential for true greatness, something that I could see gracing high school, or even college, research/learning textbooks one day. Probably on a section about dark poetry, it could easily replace sylvia plath's work on the macabre.
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:icondarkriderdlmc:
DarkRiderDLMC Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016
My language of choice is silence you know
Words are not needed in the places I go
Traveling the dark hidden places of earth
Places I’ve wandered since the day of my birth


In the darkness where my kind tread,
words are dangerous and best unsaid,
the oddest word or motion will ring the bell
that opens the gates to death and hell.

I read your second verse and wondered "does she dream this or actually travel the dark?"  Either way, I faved it because it spoke for so many. 
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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist

When the bell tolls I fear not the sound

Hell is my exit and not where I’m bound

Free and unfettered my path is perfectly clear

When already dead you have nothing to fear

I always look forward to your comments with dark and eager anticipation Woohooooo! 

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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I Love the Direction It is Going....

I hope you don't mind:

fav.me/d9usxv8
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2016
You love the absence of communication?
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:iconkuro-tsuki-san:
Kuro-Tsuki-san Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016
I like the fog too.
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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconice-queen-blue:
ice-queen-blue Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016  Professional General Artist
Cloud on the Ground by ice-queen-blue   Know the Feeling :)
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:iconinsanityadjuster:
InsanityAdjuster Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Love the photo :)
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